I have only just really begun to understand the importance of transitions and how much we underestimate or ignore them in our busy modern lives. Something which has been a common theme with my coaching clients (and that I can definitely relate to), is that they feel like they’re living their lives on an adrenaline train, rushing from one thing to the next.
They then wonder why they find it hard to relax at night. I know for myself that I would often sit down after all the chores were done with the intention of relaxing, but instead of finding calm, I would find myself jumping up and down, finishing various tasks, opening and closing the fridge on repeat or just scrolling on my phone and watching television simultaneously in an incredibly unsatisfactory way.
This is a common theme and I began to reflect on why I and so many others found night times hard and unsatisfying. I realised that we’re not allowing ourselves the time or the space to transition from one activity to the next. This means that the often frantic energy of our day just naturally carries into the night, making it impossible to relax.
So I began to experiment. After putting my little one to bed, I made space to transition. I would turn down the lights, put on some lamps or light some candles, maybe have a shower, journal, meditate, stretch, listen to some music, put on some comfortable clothes and ugg boots, maybe have a bath?
It didn’t really matter what I did (although showers, trackies and ugg boots are definitely my favourite). What mattered was that I was making time and space to reflect, shift gears and welcome in the night.
This simple practice has made such a dramatic difference to my life. After doing one of the above activities I’m able to be present, relax and enjoy whatever it is I choose to do with my night.
So the practice this week is to play with this and see if it helps you wash off your day and shift gears so that you’re better able to relax at night. It can be worth initially planning what it is you’re going to do and then as time goes on allow this to become more intuitive.
