Let's be honest. No one likes to fail. But how cool would it be if we saw failure for what it is? A wonderful teacher and learning experience? An opportunity to grow and to look at things freshly? A chance to get creative?
Sure it can hurt like hell as well but what if we didn't let that define us? What if we saw failure as inevitable? Considered it a sign of growth and kept going anyway? Why do we even have to call it failure anyway?
As a recovering perfectionist, I used to have a terrible relationship with failure. I believed that failure was unacceptable and something to be avoided at all costs. This meant that I didn’t take many risks, as to risk, would mean to risk falling down. It’s a safe place of course, not putting yourself out there or not beginning a project, but it’s not very fulfilling and doesn’t make for a very interesting life.
I was always waiting until the day I was truly ‘ready’ before putting myself out there or taking those first steps. I didn't realise that often the only way to get ready or to know if something is 'right' is to jump right in, do what scares you and then learn from your mistakes. There is actually a quote I really like that says;
‘Anything worth doing is worth doing badly’.
The first time I heard this quote I felt liberated and like I could finally take a big exhale. It just took all of the pressure off immediately and gave me permission to be a beginner. It gave me permission to be terrible at something. Permission to be a failure.
A great way to welcome failure into your life and embrace mistakes is to read people’s biographies. By doing this, it soon becomes apparent that the road to success is never smooth. But what separates people who go on to 'succeed' and those who don’t, is that those who 'succeed', see mistakes as a crucial part of the learning process. They don't take it all so personally and keep persevering, taking the long term view as opposed to judging every minute step along the way.
Another practice that can support you in becoming less fearful of failure is to follow the fear and the thoughts surrounding that fear and keep questioning them to the very end. Often we stop at the fear and don't actually keep asking questions such as 'So what if things don't work out?' 'What’s the worst that can happen?' 'What’s the cost of not taking any action?'
We need to give ourselves permission to make mistakes, to be imperfect and to make room for all of the ups and downs of life. This is what builds resilience and promotes growth afterall.
So let’s practice the art of failing and drop the judgements and welcome it into our lives as the wonderful teacher it can be.
