Lately the Body Positivity movement has been gaining a lot of mainstream traction and thank goodness for that. There is way too much body bashing in our culture and the 'thin ideal' which is shoved down our throat by mainstream media keeps the majority of the population trapped in a diet prison of never feeling good enough.
The alternative to diet culture has been a push towards body love. A movement where women and men are encouraged to embrace their bodies and to love them.
While I truly believe that this is a noble and important cause I also worry that we could potentially fall into a new trap of feeling pressure to Always love our bodies and then to feel like we’ve somehow failed body positivity if this isn’t how we feel.
I personally have a more complex relationship with my body image which doesn't fit into either of the above categories and from talking with friends and clients, I know that I’m not alone.
You see, I do reject diet culture and I fundamentally don’t believe our weight should define us. I feel so sad about all the years I and many others have lost worrying about our weight. I think about all the hot summer days I decided not to swim because I didn't want to get into my swimsuit. Or the time I travelled to South America, and instead of taking in the views, I was worrying about all the weight I’d put on and what I was going to eat.
And at the same time, I would be lying if I said I was Always loving and embracing of my body. I mean these days I genuinely do really love my body most of the time. She helps me move, has housed, grown and fed my two precious babies and she allows me to live my life in the way I want to live it.
Yet there are some days I feel more comfortable in my skin than others. The difference is, I don't let those days define me now. I know that my body is so much more than the way she looks and reducing her to an object is dehumanising and is what allowed for years of diet abuse in the first place.
The key is can you have bad body image days and still treat your body (ie. yourself) with kindness, respect and acceptance?
After all, we can’t change our thoughts. They are the product of many years of conditioning. We can however choose to act in a way that is loving or kind towards ourselves anyway.
It makes me think of my three year old. I don’t always love the way she behaves, but I can choose to respond with kindness or with anger. I don’t always choose kindness sadly, but the more I practice, the quicker I’m able to course correct and then act in line with my values. I feel it’s the same with our own relationship with our bodies. We’re going to make 'mistakes', but the more we practice body positivity and acceptance, the quicker we’ll become at being kind to ourselves again.
So if you don’t LOVE your body all the time, you’re not failing body positivity! Body Positivity wasn’t created in order to impose more rules onto women about how they ‘should’ feel. It was created as a way to accept all shapes and sizes.
Also, remember, our thoughts and feelings don’t define us... So if you do have a poor body image moment, recognise it for what it is (an old belief) and then let it go and choose acceptance or kindness anyway.
