Night time eating is something that I see a lot of clients struggling with. It’s also something that I struggled with for a long time and so I have a bit to say about this topic.
You see, I would eat what I considered ‘normally’ throughout the day, but the sun would go down and I would find myself bouncing up and down from the couch, eating random concoctions of food and not feeling good about myself in the process. I felt down, like a failure, like I just couldn’t get my sh*t together and each day I vowed that I’d no longer continue this habit of constant night time eating.
This habit used to cause me so much pain but it’s actually been an incredible teacher. I want to share the four main things that I’ve learnt from my night time eating in case some of these things are helpful.
1.What I considered to be a ‘normal’ amount of food was in fact some days under eating and so hence, my night time eating was a clever way that my body was trying to get in energy and nutrients. Thank you body.
2. I wasn’t actually enjoying a lot of the food I was eating and so I wasn’t satisfied. It’s therefore no wonder that I wanted more food at the end of the day. It’s not enough to be full, we need to be satisfied as well.
3. My fear of night time eating and resistance to it was actually fuelling the ‘problem’ as it meant that I also feared the feelings that I thought may lead to night time eating/snacking such as boredom, restlessness or disconnectedness from myself and/or others
4. Resisting night time eating just felt like another diet. As my wonderful teacher Isabel Foxen Duke would call it, I was on the ‘Do not eat too much at night time’ diet. In other words, my self esteem was attached to whether or not I ate and so when I ‘broke’ my own ‘rule’, I ended up face first in peanut butter, chocolate, or anything that wasn’t glued down in the kitchen.
So I decided to do the opposite to what I had been doing and practicing for so many years.
First of all, I decided to eat more throughout the day so that I was actually getting enough food to satisfy my body. I ditched the diets and actually listened to how much my body needed on a day to day basis. Life changing.
Secondly, I began to choose foods and meals that I found pleasurable and satisfying on every level (physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually).
Thirdly, I decided to welcome my feelings at night time. (I even decided to welcome the night time eating). As soon as I stopped struggling with my feeling and my habits, it was much easier to navigate and be with them. I began to check in and ask myself how I was feeling and what I needed in that moment. Sometimes it was a hug, other times a rest, other times a good old dance around the kitchen, and sometimes there was no solution at all. Sometimes I just had to feel the discomfort and accept that this is part of being a human in this world. That it’s okay to feel pain and to not have to make it go away.
And do you know what? Sometimes I ate. And I still do eat. But the difference is I give myself permission to eat. Instead of guzzling, standing up in private and feeling so much shame, I think about what I want, I sit down (usually) and I enjoy it. If we are going to use food to make us feel better then let’s allow ourselves to actually enjoy the experience so that it is serves the purpose that we intended it for. Otherwise we feel bad as we are experiencing some sort of pain and then we feel even worse because we have eaten and haven’t even let ourselves enjoy the experience. This is then what usually leads to a full on ‘binge’ as we feel like we have broken our diets and so may as well throw in the towel.
This weeks practice
Stop resisting the late night snacking and eating and instead get curious.
Ask yourself, Are you eating enough throughout the day? Are you having enjoyable and satisfying meals?
Then, welcome your feelings and become intimate with them and ask yourself what you’re truly needing.
And do you know what, if you want to eat, then eat, but at least let yourself enjoy the experience! Think about what would feel satisfying or comforting and then let yourself taste and enjoy it. Maybe even put it on a fancy plate? But at the very least, allow yourself to be comforted by whatever technique you choose. Drop the guilt.
